My husband and I did the long distance thing for almost two years before we finally moved into the same apartment, and I can tell you from a lot of trial and error that some virtual dates are magic and some are just two people staring at a screen wondering why it feels so awkward. The good news is that once you figure out the ones that actually work for your relationship, video call dates stop feeling like a consolation prize and start feeling like a genuine highlight of your week. I used to look forward to Friday nights with him more than I looked forward to going out with friends, and that is saying something.
So I pulled together a big list of 25 ideas, sorted into categories depending on your mood, your energy level, and how much effort you both want to put in. Mix and match, save this for a rainy week, and do not be afraid to repeat your favorites. Some of the best dates my husband and I ever had were just the same simple idea done over and over because it worked for us.
Cozy and Low Key Nights
- Light candles on both ends and just talk with the lights dimmed like a real dinner date
- Do a virtual tea or coffee date where you both brew the same drink at the same time
- Read the same book separately and video call to talk about that week’s chapters
- Get ready for bed together on camera and talk until one of you falls asleep
Active and Playful Dates
- Play an online multiplayer game together, even a simple one like trivia or cards
- Do a live workout class together on video so you are sweating in sync
- Try a scavenger hunt where you each find five weird items in your home in under two minutes
- Compete in a joint puzzle app or crossword and race to finish first
- Set up a dance party with a shared playlist and just let loose on camera
Food and Drink Dates
- Cook the exact same recipe together step by step over video
- Order from the same restaurant chain in your different cities and eat “together”
- Do a wine or cocktail tasting where you compare notes on flavor
- Bake a dessert at the same time and reveal your results to each other at the end
- Have a breakfast date where you both eat first thing in the morning before your days start
Movie and Media Nights
- Use a watch party app to stream a movie in perfect sync
- Binge the first episode of a new show neither of you has seen yet
- Watch old home videos or childhood photos together and narrate the stories behind them
- Pick a documentary on a random topic and quiz each other afterward
- Rewatch your favorite movie from when you first started dating for nostalgia
Deep Conversation Dates
- Work through a set of relationship question cards, one at a time, no rushing
- Talk through your five year plan and where you each see the relationship heading
- Share your childhood bedrooms or hometowns over video call as a mini virtual tour
- Do a gratitude exchange where you each list three things you appreciate about the other
Creative and Artsy Dates
- Paint or sketch the same simple object and compare your finished pieces
- Write a short story together, trading paragraphs back and forth in real time
Honestly, the memory that still makes me smile the most is a night early on when my husband and I could not agree on what to cook, so we each just made whatever we already had in the fridge, propped up our laptops on the counter, and cooked “together” while narrating our disasters to each other. His pasta sauce burned, my rice turned to mush, and we laughed so hard about it that neither of us cared that dinner was ruined. That is the thing about virtual dates: it was never really about the activity. It was about carving out that hour or two where nothing else existed except the two of us, even with hundreds of miles between us.
If you are in the thick of long distance right now, I know it can feel like you are just marking time until you are finally in the same place. But some of these virtual dates might end up being stories you tell for years, the way my husband and I still bring up that burnt pasta sauce night whenever we are cooking dinner together for real. Pick a few ideas from this list, try them out, and let yourselves actually enjoy the season you are in, even the parts that involve a screen between you.
